Struggle

I’m back!

Sorry to neglect this blog for some time. It was Chinese New Year, i was busy visiting with friends and relatives, and also thinking very hard what i want in life.

So i started my new job for a month, and i dont like it. SIGH. WHY. Probably cos i think i am not up to the job, or i don’t like the boss, or the culture of them messaging about work via whatsapp. To me, i dislike discussing about work during lunch and after work. These are my personal time and i get very turned off when it happens. It only shows me how pushy the bosses can be cos they don’t value your personal time. But at least my ex company doesnt have this culture. Probably cos we all dislike that so we don’t practise. Ohh how i miss the old workplace, the ex colleagues and fun times we had. But no, i’m not gonna head back there.

Then, i started thinking of doing my own business. But what can i do? I have no skills. I explored dog groomer, makeup artist, wedding planner. Dog groomer, i’m scared of being bitten by the dogs or get injured, or even hurting the dogs accidentally. Makeup artist, is it a stable career, with stable income? I still need to spend money to go for professional course, but i won’t regret going cos that’s where my interest lies. Wedding planner is something that i had wanted to do since eons ago, when i was still naive and young. Thinking that it would be so fulfilling to help a couple plan their wedding and see them happily married at the end of the day. But hmm, that’s not my interest haha.

So how? I don’t know what to do. Should i continue to be in HR? Sigh…. So vexed! So confused! To make it worse, i’m planning for wedding and my house will be ready last next year, it’s adding on to my stress. :(:(

Boyfriend has been supportive, told me to find a new job if i really dislike my current. He already told me something was wrong when i accepted the offer. He also wanted to change job, but he couldn’t do so as i was still unstable in this new place. Really don’t want to burden him down. He also encouraged me to go for the makeup course cos that’s my interest and i can earn some income from it in future.

😦

On a side note, been slacking so much on my pole practise. Did brass monkey with spotters’ help. I don’t think i can ever do it by myself haha. That fear of falling is real!

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